Writers Block


For some weeks now, I’ve been having writers block and I hate it so bad. I started a new lyrics piece called Letters To Myself, but I’ve been really down and restless and unmotivated with all the thoughts running faster than the speed of light through my mind and not being able to catch them, pin them down, really think about them and pen them down.

My thoughts seem so scattered right now, nothing really seems right. It’s like a messed up puzzle with no guide, or a broken glass jar with no way of really placing the pieces right back where they were before.

I’m listening to Against All Odds (Glee Version). Sad songs usually calm me down and speak to my soul. It’s either I don’t know what my soul’s saying or I just can’t really feel what my body’s feeling.

Right now, I’m feeling numb. I should study cause of exams coming up in few weeks, but I feel so unmotivated and it’s really messing me up…because even the songs I know…don’t say what I feel…I really get fed up with myself when I can’t explain how I feel inside or what exactly’s going on through my mind…




You’ve got a hold of me
Don’t even know your power
I stand a hundred feet
But I fall when I’m around ya

Show me an open door
Then you go and slam it on me
I can’t take anymore
I’m saying baby

Please have mercy on me
Take it easy on my heart
Even though you don’t mean to hurt me
You keep tearing me apart
Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart
Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart

I’d drive through the night
Just to be near you baby
Heart open, testified
Tell me that I’m not crazy

I’m not asking for a lot
Just that you’re honest with me
My pride is all I got
I’m saying baby

Please have mercy on me
Take it easy on my heart
Even though you don’t mean to hurt me
You keep tearing me apart
Would you please have mercy on me
I’m a puppet on your strings
And even though you got good intentions
I need you to set me free
Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart
Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart

Consuming all the air inside my lungs
Ripping all the skin from off my bones
I’m prepared to sacrifice my life
I would gladly do it twice
Consuming all the air inside my lungs
Ripping all the skin from off my bones
I’m prepared to sacrifice my life
I would gladly do it twice

I’m begging you for mercy, mercy
I’m begging you, (on my heart) begging you please baby
I’m begging you for mercy, mercy
Oh, I’m begging you, (on my heart) I’m begging you, yeah

What Is Going On YG?! [Fangirl Rant]

Hey guys, I haven’t really been posting much about myself lately. Just poems, and song lyrics from Nashville. It’s because my life really has been uninteresting, and it was really nothing to write about.

But TODAY, something happend that literally blew my heads off and still has me in a state of shock right now making me wish it’s all a horrible dream that I’ll wake up from and everything will go back to normal.

I woke up this morning, and as usual, logged unto Twitter only to see #ThankYou2NE1 trending on was it number 2 wordwide. Freaked out I hurried over to Facebook to find out what’s going on and found articles from Koreaboo, Allkpop and Soompi, and other Korean Media Outlets saying YG Entertainment has officially announced the disbandment of 2NE1 and Nam Taehyun leaving WINNER. That just ruined my mood completely because I became a Blackjack (2NE1 Fandom name) while they were on hiatus, which was last year after I watched their Music Video for Come Back Home all thanks to the article that was comparing Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood music video to 2NE1’s Come Back Home. So I’ve been waiting patiently along with other fans and YG stans for the return of these K-Pop Legends.


Unfortunately, their year, as Minzy’s contract with YG expired, she didn’t renew it, and I cried for days because that meant that I wouldn’t be able to see her, Bom, Dara and CL performing together on stage. And I really wanted to go to a 2NE1 concert. I guess that’s not going to happen.

YG then also announced that 2NE1 would be coming back as a trio and that we should support them.

On Tuesday (April 5), the group’s label YG Entertainment revealed that 2NE1’s youngest member Minzy (Gong Min Ji) opted to not renew her contract, which expires next month. 2NE1’s other members — CL (Lee Chaelin), Dara (Sandara Park), and Park Bom — will remain with the company and currently have new music in the works.

I thought to myself, ‘Okay at least all hope’s not lost, if you can’t see four of them perform, you can still see the three of them slay it on stage and in new music videos.’

Sadly, it also looks like that’s not happening, because they have officially disbanded. I mean I’m not surprised, because after reading about their hiatus, and CL doing her solo thing in the US, and Dara getting the acting gigs and also judging in this boy group show in the Philippines, half of me knew that the end of 2NE1 was coming, but I decided to cling unto the words that YG said and I just hopped for the best. Their last stage was at the MAMA2015, which took everyone by surprise, because the only person expected to perform was CL solo, but then she brought her girls and they slayed the whole crowd. I was watching it live on Youtube and the emotions I felt was amazing. W all thought it was a ‘Hello’ from them, not knowing it was actually a ‘Goodbye’.


I’ll really be missing seeing 2NE1 performing and them being them. Like they’re the reason I got into K-Pop in the first place, and they’re also one of the fiercest girl groups I know, them and 4MINUTE, but also SADLY, 4MINUTE’s gone…2016 really isn’t K-Pop’s year…like most of the 2nd Generation groups are saying adios amigo(bye bye).

Then we come to the news of Nam Taehyun leaving WINNER. I read the articles and I could just feel the tears begging me to let them out, but I couldn’t cry out because everyone else here would think I’ve gone crazy (which is true cause all this things with YG Ent is driving me bananas). He’s the one that caught my eyes when I saw Winner for the first time, and I was like wow, I need to know this group. I didn’t get into them real deep, but I stanned them and just loved their music.


They make amazing sad songs. If you know me, one of the things I love is heart-wreaking sad songs that make you feel so many emotions all at the same times, song that you can connect to form your own stories, songs that make you wonder wow, what was going on in the mind of the person who wrote this. That is what always went through my mind whenever I listened to their music. My favorite song from them is Baby Baby. That song, perfect for a night alone, cool breeze, maybe a bowl of ice cream in a dim room. It’s a perfect song.


YG said he left due his mental illness and things like that. As much as I’m mad at YG for loosing talented artists, I’m also sympathizing with Taehyun. I really pray for him to get better. And if leaving was his idea, and what he wanted, I’m behind him 100%, even if it’s not, I’m still behind him 100%

All these are my thoughts and opinions. I wasn’t really planning on writing a blog post about the whole 2NE1 disbandment and Nam Taehyun leaving WINNER, but I just needed an outlet for all these emotions I’m feeling right now. I really wish everyone the best, CL, Bom, Dara, (Minzy, who will be debuting solo under another label sometime), and also Nam Taehyun (Get well soon), and the other members of WINNER too, Seungyoon, Mino, Seunghoon and Jinwoo. I’m sure it’s not easy on any of you guys, but stay strong, you’ll make it past this.

This is just my take on all this happening. YG just messed up my feelings… 😦
They’ve got me like TT_TT



The Keeper OF Emotions


You swam in the ocean of tears.
You stayed in the forest of death.
You ate the fruit of hatred.
You killed the one of love.
You spoke the words of hell.

Kept all of the tears in one place.
Protected the nature of death.
Kept eating all hatred.
You killed the one that you love.
Only you can bear the words from hell.

Written by Dark Delusion from hellopoetry

You Will


You’ll search for me in the places I don’t belong
You’ll realize that fact when I’ll be gone long
Never had I changed what I am
You’ll realize you lost your gem
You’ll miss me with your morning snores
Till the night time when you complete chores
You’ll search for me in your misty showers
You’ll remember me in your lonely hours
Hope you understand what you were to me
You’ll be the same,  just like me
You’ll look for me in your cold coffee’s
Cause those brown shade would be just like my iris
You’ll feel how I felt
You’ll realize how I was when you left
But don’t worry,  I’ll be along
With you, cause..
We’ll search for us in the places we don’t belong
We’ll realize that fact when we’ll be gone long

Written by Smit from hellopoetry



Fire’s beauty cannot be contested
even though it can’t help but
burn when you come closer.
(He’s fire)

The power of a black tiger
is entrancing
until it devours you, body and soul.
(He’s an animal)

The high cocaine brings is
addictive even when you
fall into a hell of your own making
(He’s a drug)

He’s fascinating

Stories about him
shock yet his
rampage on the vulnerable hearts
of this world
will never cease.

(He’s toxic.)

Written by Maya Wilson-Fernandez from hellopoetry

You Are Toxic


They always warned me
About toxic relationships
They said physical and mental abuse
Are both toxic
They were right
But what they didn’t tell me
Was that you would
Intentionally say things to hurt me
That I thought you said on accident
You liked the way it looked when
I had pain in my eyes
You liked the way I couldn’t breathe
When you talked about loving someone else
Or the way
I would keep coming back to you
You knew I couldn’t stop loving you
You saw a weak spot and
You targeted it
So now there’s only one thing left to say
Fuck you

Written by Chandler Kircher from hellppoetry