I finally deactivated my Facebook account, and I feel really good about everything. Much better than I have in weeks to be honest. This really isn’t the time I need to be all chatty and talk…it really isn’t. I just really need some time to be on my own, away from more than half the buzz I have going on, to try and reconnect with myself, heal my mind, get focused and just be me, day in and day out…if you know what I mean.
I’m still watching movies, well a series that’s actually inspiring me. It’s called Nashville, currently on season 2.
Number of times I’ve said I’m not a fan of country music, but watching Nashville made me realize, I do love country, some of it is crazy, sexy, sad, soothing, all at the same time. It’s all musicians trying to express themselves one way or another, and that’s amazing.
It’s what makes me fall in love with music over and over again. It also reminds me of the type of person I am. Someone who uses music to express herself and connect with others. When I can’t really find the words to explain myself, I use music. People who are close to me, when I send them a lyrics or a youtube link and ask them to listen to it, they get what I mean, and what I’m trying to say.
I had a crush on this guy in high school, way back, and I was trying to tell him how I felt. When people come to me for relationship advise, I’m always telling them, do what your heart’s telling you, speak your mind, express yourself, let it all out but…that’s something I’m very terrible at doing. Expressing my feelings with words, I don’t mean through lyrics, I mean talking and saying exactly how I feel. It’s either I breakdown, or I choke. Which was exactly what I did in my former crush’s case.
As I tried to tell him how I felt, all the words just felt wrong. I finally sent him I Really Like You by Carly Rae Jepsen, and I think he got my message, but didn’t exactly feel the same way I did, and that was after he asked me out…as a joke…that was when I confronted him and finally told him how I felt, and got rejected. Sure I was furious that he asked me out as a joke, but funny enough I wasn’t sad, or dejected cause of it. I guess I’m good at handling rejection.
I’m really sorry to the people I left hanging. I’ll be back, maybe not just today, or tomorrow, or next week, or the week after. I’ll be fine.
I’ll be posting some of the lyrics from Nashville, especially the ones that have really inspired me and soothed me, and made me feel more like me each time I listen to them.
I hope you like them. I’d really love to hear your thoughts on them, so leave comments down below.
Till next post,