Fighting Depression

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Yesterday night, my mood got blue and I was just down and sad. I remembered what I always tells people I counsel. “Fight that feeling and feel better. Use positive thoughts to counter the sad negative thoughts you’re having.”

At times even I don’t even take my own advise, but I thought, why not just take my own advise this time?

Guess what? It worked! Instead of my usual looking for sad heart wrenching songs, I looked for happy songs and I got up and started dancing. It’s been a long time since I danced and I had a good time in my room. After I finished and got ready for bed, I was just happy and my spirit was no longer down. I just felt so colourful and amazing. I’ll put down the songs I listened to down here:

1. Me Too by Meghan Trainor

2. No by Meghan Trainor

3. Better When I’m Dancin’ by Meghan Trainor

4. All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor

5. Happy by Pharrell Williams

6. Cheap Thrills by Sia

You can’t help but just start dancing when you listen to songs like that. The only way to fight against negative thoughts is positive thoughts. Try it, it’s worth it. Let lose!

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Types of People I Met While Travelling

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Okay so I encountered different types of people. There was the pervy_nice guy, the ‘german’ advise giving guy, the loud kids and also the smarties_eating couples.

1. Pervy_Nice Guy: We met on my first plane here’s what out conversation was like.
Him: You can take of your shoes.
Me: Oh yeah thanks.
Him: You can take off everything else too.
*In my head I’m like what the hell…?*
Me: Hm no no and no.
Him: Come on, it can be two of us.
*I’m wondering why the heck I was even replying him*
Me: No no and no.
Him *pointing to my skirt*: I like your skirt.
Me: Thanks.
The we talked a bit more. I didn’t ask his name and he didn’t ask mine either. He was fun to talk to. He then helped me get to my next terminal for my following flight.
Him: You’re really beautiful, I was going to Germany, then I could see you.
Me: Thanks.
It’s really hard for me to accept compliments about how I look. I don’t really consider myself as pretty or beautiful. Only my family calls me beautiful, and it feels nice. But when an outsider compliments me, I don’t really know exactly how to feel except uncomfortable. Oh and he was kinda cute too… XD

2. The German Advise Giving Guy: While I was waiting for my next flight I took out a pack of gum and put one in my mouth. The man opposite me asked for one and I gave it to him. He then struck a conversation with me.
Him: Where are you going?
Me: Frankfurt.
Him: Oh me too.
Me: Nice.
Him: So what are you going to do there?
Me: To study.
Him: What do you want to study?
Me: I’m still thinking about it.
*Which is true, I was currently thinking about my studies. I don’t like giving people I don’t know infos about me just like that.*
The he starts giving me advise and telling me about his life and I just kept saying nice, wow, good. Because I suck at small talk. I even had to google how to small_talk… 🙂

3. Smarties_eating Couple: Beside me while waiting for the next plane there was this really adorable couple and they were sharing smarties. It made me miss my parents even more. My parents are always so lovey dovey. They’re the reason I believe that true love exists. And I pray for a love like theirs. I’m currently single and I am not into dating anymore, but when I do get to the whole love thing again, I want a love like theirs. It’s pure and beautiful. Every time he talks about her, there’s this glow in his face and his eyes shine like the stars. And I’m always thinking, Wow, I want that too.

4. The Loud Kids: So on my second flight, 3 kids sat behind me and the kept making noise (which was fine because they’re kids) then they started farting and the smell was coming to me and I was trying to sleep. It was horrible but I survived!

I had fun. Yeah there were times that I wished that I wasn’t on my own, but oh well. I’m a big girl now.

Things You Should Never Do Before Travelling

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Okay so before I travelled I did some things that I wasn’t supposed to do the day before I travelled.

1. When your eye is itchy do not itch it unless you want it looking like someone punched you in the face: My eyes were itching so bad and I kept itching it. In the morning I had a red-eye and went out looking like I had gotten into a boxing ring and got my ass handed to me the night before.

2. Do not were tight clothing no matter how nice it looks. You’ll wish for baggies at some point: My top was tight, my skirt was tight my sweater was tight. I thought it looked really nice which it did, but it was so uncomfortable. 😦

3. Do not ask the server for things you do not know even if she offers them. Play safe and pick the things you know: Okay so on the plane the server was like ‘Ravioli or Chicken’. And I was like Ravioli,´. She gave that to me and boi it did not taste nice to me at all. So I couldn’t eat it and I was hungry. Thank God for the cake and bread cause I really didn’t know what else to do and I was too lazy to stand up and take my bag that was overhead. Cookies were in there.

4. Know how to open the toilet door from inside: So I didn’t know how to open the toilet door and I couldn’t get out. I got scared because I thought no one would hear me. I banged on the door as hard I could until someone came to open for me. I was so embarrassed.

I have more posts coming up about my flight. There’s so much to write about. And it’s snowing. I love snow.

Happy Sunday!

Moving To Germany

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Hey guys. You might have noticed that I haven’t been posting regularly for some time now. It’s because I’ve been super busy with preparing for my move to Germany.

I’m excited, happy, and scared all at the same time. Sure I’ve lived there before, but this is the first time that I’m actually going on my own.

I’ll really miss my parents, my mum, my dad, and my little baby boo bro too.

My mum is an amazing woman She’s a one of a kind wife and a one of a kind mother. She’s always there for me, she loves me like a daughter and a friend and just wants the best for you.

My dad is the best father and husband that I’ve ever met in my life. I’m not sure I’ll ever meet a man like him. He’s kind, loving, caring, he’s everything a woman could want in a husband and everything a daughter could ever wish for in a father.

I’m really going to miss them. 😥

I’m planning on creating a Youtube channel to be able to share my experiences and keep myself busy when I’m not busy. And I’ll also keep my Instagram updated. I haven’t been doing much of that either. I’ll try

I’m grateful that I have you guys to talk to. It keeps me motivated to write and I’m really sorry I haven’t been posting as frequent as normal. I’ll try my best. I promise.

I’m going to get back to packing my things. I’m leaving tomorrow! So excited!

Mitchi

The Unwritten Girl Rule

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I was reading an article some days ago about a girl who was pissed at her friend for falling in love and dating her ex and all I could say was ‘What in the world are you mad about? Why?’

Apparently it’s an unwritten rule that a girl must never date her friends’s ex. I really still don’t get it. I mean yeah it would be awkward to meet your ex again and see him kissing your best friend.

Maybe the reason I don’t understand this ‘rule’ is because most of my friends have been guys. So I took it upon myself to find out more about the Unwritten Girl Rules/Codes and wow I found…25 OF THEM (all thanks to the site hexjam). I had no idea some of these existed.

  1. Never date your friend’s ex.
  2. Never befriend your ex’s new girlfriend.
  3. No matter what, those new girlfriends always look like ogres compared to your friend
  4. Never reveal your friend’s secret.
  5. Always be honest.
  6. Never leave a drunk friend alone.
  7. Only post flattering pics of your friends on Facebook. (I find this one very funny.)
  8. Unflattering pics are ONLY allowed if you’re both striking an equally weird pose. (What in the world….I feel like an alien reading these rules.)
  9. Full access to each other’s closet is permitted. (Oh no! Not for me!)
  10. Half an hour pep talks before a date are mandatory. (Oh yeah. I had this one friend I gave a pep talk before she went on her date. It went pretty well. So proud! :))
  11. Always help a fellow woman out during her time of the month. (Thanks mom for all the dark chocolate. Love em!)
  12. Rescue plans will be implemented when friends are heartbroken. (Let’s say I’m always there for my friends who are heart broken. Well it’s mostly that time that they remember the Counselor Mitchi is alive. XD)
  13. Never stay quiet when your friend is falling for an asshole. (True talk!)

And the rest are pretty much more girl talk. I also searched up why the number one rule ‘Never date your friend’s ex’ is important. According to stylesweekly here are the reasons. And by friend we mean a really close friend who you spend time with and confide in (and they do the same with you) who has an ex-boyfriend who’d like to date you.

1. It’s Not Good For Your Friendship: If you and your friend are super close, then she probably told you about her relationship with the guy. Just think about how uncomfortable it will be for the both of you for her to know that not only are you aware of some of the innermost secrets of her relationship but now, you’re going to learn about some of those things firsthand. Yeah, awkward doesn’t even begin to cut it!

2. It Could Ultimately Cost You Your Friendship: If your friend does pretend that she’s cool with it at first (which is shocking all on its own), don’t be surprised if she’s not in the long run. She has every reason to think that you dating her ex is a bit on the side of disloyal. And when you don’t really trust someone, it’s hard to be friends with them

3. It’s Shady On Your Part (And His): Your friend is more than fair if she asks you how long you and her ex have entertained dating each other. And even if the topic didn’t come up before they ended their relationship, you certainly shouldn’t blame her for thinking that the two of you might have been sneaking around. And either way, thinking that being together is cool is pretty shady on both of your parts.

4. You’ll Never Be Able To Full Trust Him: What would make you think that if he is OK with seeing two friends that he won’t mind doing it again with one of your other friends? And really, can you trust that? Probably not.

5. He Might Have A Hidden Agenda: Revenge reveals itself in a sorts of ways. And sometimes, you don’t really see it coming. Be careful about a guy who wants to date you shortly after his relationship ends with your friend. You might be nothing more than a pawn to hurt her feelings or make her jealous.

6. Chances Are, You’ll Dislike Some Of The Same Things She Did: The reason why you and her are friends is because the two of you have some things in common, right? That’s probably why you like some of the same guys. Here’s what you probably weren’t prepared for, though. That’s also probably why you’ll end up disliking some of the same things about your friend’s ex as she did.

7. He May (Openly) Compare The Two Of You: It’s actually a given that he’s going to compare the two of you. That’s natural. What you might not be prepared for is him comparing you openly. “Sara would never wear that” or “Katie actually likes this restaurant, you don’t?” Who wants to feel like there’s constantly a measuring stick in their relationship. And not only that but someone who they actually know?

8. His Friends May Compare The Two Of You Too: Here’s an icky thought. Guys talk to their friends. This means that he talked to them about your friend (and who knows what was said) and now, you’re up for conversation. And yes, that also usually includes comparisons. Between you and your friend. This time, not only by one guy…but several.

9. It Could Be A Reputation Killer: Honestly, at the end of the day, character should trump reputation. But in this case, they both basically work together. Even if you feel that dating an ex of your friend is the exception and not the rule, what is it about your character that thinks it’s a good thing to do? And if you don’t care, that attitude is what could ultimately affect your reputation.

10. You’ll Have A Hard Time Balancing The Two Relationships: So, if you’re used to you and your friend telling each other everything and she can’t stand her ex and/or her ex can’t stand her either, how are you going to balance everything out? It sounds like a tug of war more than anything else. And what’s the fun/use/benefit in that?

11. It Will Be Hard To Get Others’ Support And Understanding: Hopefully, you have people in your life who are going to love you no matter what. But if a lot of them are like “We just don’t get this so we’re not sure we can offer the best advice”, don’t fault them for it. It’s complicated at best.

12. There’s A Slim Chance It Will Get Anywhere…Far: When a guy knows that you’re willing to date your friend’s ex, it might cause him to wonder if you’re also capable of dating one of this friends up the road. That puts your integrity into question which may put an expiration date on your relationship before it even really gets off of the ground.

13. They Might Ultimately End Up Back Together: Gee. Now wouldn’t this be a boomerang? How mad can you really be if after dating you, he goes back to the woman he was seeing before you? There’s a chance of this happening. Do you really wanna risk it?

14. There Are Plenty Of Other Guys To Choose From: Aren’t there enough guys in the world that dating the ex of a friend is worth avoiding? Just asking.

15. You’re So Much Better Than That: While there are rare instances where dating the friend of an ex could work, it’s close to the chances of winning the lottery. Between trying to get your friend to trust you, trying to keep the relationship from being super awkward and trying to keep any type of guilt at bay, you’re better than all of this. Don’t look at a close friend’s ex as “the ultimate catch”, but the ultimate distraction when it comes to finding someone who you—and your friend—can be happy about you being with instead.

Okay these points are doing a pretty good job of convincing me that dating your friend’s ex is a huge NO NO. But then what happens when it’s actually true love and you guys are soul-mates? Yes I believe in soul-mates. Maybe there’s an exception for that.

I would really love to hear what you reader think about it. Is it a good idea to date your friend’s ex or is it just a big NO NO for you?

For Breaking My Heart

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My heartbreak is grief that comes in waves, gruelling, stealing appetite and sleep alike. It is a shard in my guts that never leaves, though perhaps in time the edges will dull. It feels like death just the same as bereavement and in quiet moments it chokes the breath from my body and short circuits my mind. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace is emptiness, echoes of a love I put my everything into. With each passing day you take another step away though I asked you to show some sign of caring, affection, of love. All you bring is anger, suspicion and an averted gaze. My only “crime” was to not be able to cope with your rage, with the words you allowed to spill unchecked. I have always done my best for you and, even now, still am. Inadequate as you find me, this is my best, it is all that is left of a once a proud and strong soul – fragments on the floor, scared that the next wind will blow them away.

Since your love turned to poison, my mind cycles through emotions faster than a kid flipping radio channels. I’ve gone from level to rocky – fighting a mixture of competing emotions, each of them vying for dominance. After the reboot of sleep I am calm, the day stretching ahead with possibilities – time to get jobs done, connect with friends, enjoy nature. Yet this coping is a thin veil over trauma and even the smallest of set backs change my emotional landscape. By evening the sadness wells up, uncertainty rushing to the fore, and I know it is time to sleep. How the crazy dreams stitch my head back together I haven’t a clue, it’s a new miracle every night.

Thank you for breaking me; isn’t that a line from Sinead O’Connor? I never understood it before. It used to sound like permission, albeit retroactive, to hurt someone. I get it now. Only a lover can wound so deep, cut to the very core. That level of trauma has to be an inside job. You broke me and watched me bleed. You saw me fail to eat, fail to sleep, and you kept on the pressure with your lies and manipulations, increasing the level of cruelty as you went. After all that, what can there be left underneath but the untouchable part of me, my soul, the girl you can never hurt. I can’t be more raw than that, more exposed, more pure. So thank you, because as Sinead said, “now I have a strong, strong heart, thank you, thank you for breaking my heart.”

(daisy)

 

Love Letter

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The paper crumpled as my fingers clenched into a fist and then I throw away the paper ball. He always find a way to cover up his lies beneath sweet words. And every time I promise myself that I won’t fall for those letters of his, but I do. So this time I’ve thrown it away without reading it. But I again think that maybe this time he might not have lied. So I pick up the paper and uncrumple it. He has written two words- ‘Turn around.’ So I do, and find him standing a few inches away from me, but he wasn’t here even a second ago. “What are you?” I ask him.

“I’m sorry,” he says and his eyes turn glossy with tears. This is something I’ve seen before, so I hope that this time he is not lying. So I let him wrap his arms around me and use my shoulder to cry on.

(aisha)